Many of you probably remember audr09, our favorite admin-turned-griefer that eventually got banned, but then became the first member to get "tarded." He pops in every once in a while to say hi, and came on the other night and clearly confessed to his deeds. Here's his tale, in his own words!

2011-08-24 17:15:46 [INFO] audr09 logged in with entity id 805436 at ([world] 19981.1875, 64.0, 41.6875)
2011-08-24 17:15:48 [INFO] audr09 the tard: ethan
2011-08-24 17:15:59 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: wat tard
2011-08-24 17:16:04 [INFO] audr09 the tard: watch your mouth
2011-08-24 17:16:11 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: oscars a hover
2011-08-24 17:16:14 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: sorry tard!
2011-08-24 17:16:26 [INFO] audr09 the tard: its cool
2011-08-24 17:16:39 [INFO] audr09 the tard: seriously, where is everyone? is it just you two online?

2011-08-24 17:16:40 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: yeh im realy sorry mr tard
2011-08-24 17:17:15 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: so how did u become a tard? tard
2011-08-24 17:17:28 [INFO] audr09 the tard: there's a fucking statue dedicated to me in spawn
2011-08-24 17:17:35 [INFO] audr09 the tard: go ask someone
2011-08-24 17:17:37 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: lol
2011-08-24 17:17:51 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: so then whay are you a tard
2011-08-24 17:17:57 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: fuck tard hes like th town drink
2011-08-24 17:18:04 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: BUT IN MINECRAFT
2011-08-24 17:18:08 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: yay
2011-08-24 17:18:13 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i'm the fucking god damn man
2011-08-24 17:18:16 [INFO] audr09 the tard: that's who i am
2011-08-24 17:18:27 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: gods a tard
2011-08-24 17:18:37 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: ye ye and we live under grond
2011-08-24 17:18:40 [INFO] audr09 the tard: are you like 12?
2011-08-24 17:18:53 [INFO] vicwiz007 logged in with entity id 816044 at ([world] 32.8243937054649, 72.94209062504456, 187.58169232634827)
2011-08-24 17:18:57 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: no dude ura tard
2011-08-24 17:19:06 [INFO] [PLAYER_COMMAND] vicwiz007: /online
2011-08-24 17:19:13 [INFO] vicwiz007: wtf?
2011-08-24 17:19:21 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: so dude whats this room devoted to?
2011-08-24 17:19:32 [INFO] rapter2 logged in with entity id 819979 at ([world] 19976.77749741051, 64.41149275718384, 0.21164864076143822)
2011-08-24 17:19:32 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: not uvic ur cool :D
2011-08-24 17:19:40 [INFO] vicwiz007: i didnt know there was a retards rank
2011-08-24 17:19:56 [INFO] vicwiz007: when did that happen?
2011-08-24 17:19:57 [INFO] rapter2: hi
2011-08-24 17:20:03 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: yeh there like the most disrespected rank
2011-08-24 17:20:09 [INFO] audr09 the tard: where is surf and gorg and william?
2011-08-24 17:20:11 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: hi rapter
2011-08-24 17:20:13 [INFO] vicwiz007: well y rnt they banned?
2011-08-24 17:20:19 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: idk
2011-08-24 17:20:38 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: audr why u a tard?
2011-08-24 17:20:46 [INFO] rapter2: do you want to be fraends?
2011-08-24 17:20:52 [INFO] vicwiz007: :/
2011-08-24 17:20:59 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: ...... ummmm
2011-08-24 17:21:01 [INFO] audr09 the tard: because i was an admin a long time ago
2011-08-24 17:21:07 [INFO] rapter2: i mean friends
2011-08-24 17:21:12 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: never heardof u
2011-08-24 17:21:17 [INFO] vicwiz007: i heard of u
2011-08-24 17:21:24 [INFO] audr09 the tard: that's because you're an idiot ethan
2011-08-24 17:21:33 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: well ur a tard now so u wont get strait up respect
2011-08-24 17:21:33 [INFO] audr09 the tard: hi raptor
2011-08-24 17:21:34 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: says the tard
2011-08-24 17:21:39 [INFO] vicwiz007: i think i remeber u being an admin, but im kinda new :P
2011-08-24 17:21:39 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: hahah
2011-08-24 17:21:59 [INFO] rapter2: hi audro9
2011-08-24 17:22:02 [INFO] audr09 the tard: you have no clue how much respect i get here
2011-08-24 17:22:10 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: as a tard
2011-08-24 17:22:13 [INFO] audr09 the tard: you don't even know who i am
2011-08-24 17:22:14 [INFO] vicwiz007: ....
2011-08-24 17:22:18 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i'm not a fucking tard kid
2011-08-24 17:22:29 [INFO] audr09 the tard: its a rank in minecraft get over it
2011-08-24 17:22:37 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: then why are you audr09 the tard?
2011-08-24 17:22:39 [INFO] vicwiz007: oooooh he called u a kid :/
2011-08-24 17:22:44 [INFO] rapter2: l
2011-08-24 17:22:58 [INFO] audr09 the tard: ethan, you should just stop talking to me
2011-08-24 17:23:05 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i asked a simple question
2011-08-24 17:23:08 [INFO] vicwiz007: im 13 so im a pre-ish-teen :D
2011-08-24 17:23:11 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: stfu old man
2011-08-24 17:23:17 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: ye eth you might get germs
2011-08-24 17:23:28 [INFO] audr09 the tard: where are the admins
2011-08-24 17:23:39 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: up your ass!
2011-08-24 17:23:42 [INFO] audr09 the tard: have any been on recently?
2011-08-24 17:23:47 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: so yeh
2011-08-24 17:25:11 [INFO] atheljcarlton logged in with entity id 836821 at ([world] 16.482441517542043, 67.0, -177.34372745349276)
2011-08-24 17:25:15 [INFO] audr09 the tard: athel!
2011-08-24 17:25:20 [INFO] atheljcarlton: lol
2011-08-24 17:25:22 [INFO] atheljcarlton lost connection: disconnect.endOfStream
2011-08-24 17:25:30 [INFO] vicwiz007: :P
2011-08-24 17:25:40 [INFO] williamhcarlton logged in with entity id 837880 at ([world] 80117.9375, 64.0, -77994.3125)
2011-08-24 17:25:58 [INFO] vicwiz007: ooh the second carlton
2011-08-24 17:26:12 [INFO] audr09 the tard: ugh
2011-08-24 17:26:17 [INFO] audr09 the tard: pull me to you will
2011-08-24 17:26:24 [INFO] [PLAYER_COMMAND] williamhcarlton: /tphere aud
2011-08-24 17:26:28 [INFO] audr09 the tard: thanks
2011-08-24 17:27:43 [INFO] audr09 the tard: thanks homie
2011-08-24 17:27:51 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i cant use the tools thought
2011-08-24 17:28:04 [INFO] audr09 the tard: prolly can't use the buckets either
2011-08-24 17:28:24 [INFO] vicwiz007: if u were once admin y r u retard?
2011-08-24 17:28:39 [INFO] audr09 the tard: because i provided a service
2011-08-24 17:28:51 [INFO] vicwiz007: ???
2011-08-24 17:29:10 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: what cind of service
2011-08-24 17:29:21 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: lol
2011-08-24 17:29:44 [INFO] cookiesaur lost connection: disconnect.endOfStream
2011-08-24 17:30:04 [INFO] chaoscontrol891 logged in with entity id 844953 at ([world] 19953.6875, 67.0, -391.3125)
2011-08-24 17:30:48 [INFO] cookiesaur logged in with entity id 848579 at ([world] 20205.4375, 67.0, 173.34375)
2011-08-24 17:32:10 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i provided the server with excitement, intrigue, and i prepared the server for coming attacks
2011-08-24 17:32:28 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: you meen assasin!
2011-08-24 17:32:38 [INFO] vicwiz007: ninja?
2011-08-24 17:32:44 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: gay?
2011-08-24 17:32:51 [INFO] vicwiz007: rapist? 0_o
2011-08-24 17:33:04 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: drugie?
2011-08-24 17:33:10 [INFO] williamhcarlton: you're a mix between a analyst and a therapist
2011-08-24 17:33:14 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: that is the one!
2011-08-24 17:33:16 [INFO] williamhcarlton: you call yourself:
2011-08-24 17:33:20 [INFO] williamhcarlton: analrapist
2011-08-24 17:33:21 [INFO] vicwiz007: crooked cop
2011-08-24 17:33:26 [INFO] vicwiz007: :D
2011-08-24 17:33:32 [INFO] vicwiz007: i like that one
2011-08-24 17:33:33 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: william!
2011-08-24 17:33:36 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i was an admin
2011-08-24 17:33:40 [INFO] vicwiz007: so analrapist?
2011-08-24 17:33:58 [INFO] vicwiz007: that doesnt explain y ur a tard tho
2011-08-24 17:33:59 [INFO] williamhcarlton: ltrz
2011-08-24 17:34:02 [INFO] williamhcarlton lost connection: disconnect.endOfStream
2011-08-24 17:34:28 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i griefed the server regularly, looting, buring, exploding, breaking, etc
2011-08-24 17:34:34 [INFO] audr09 the tard: for several months
2011-08-24 17:34:54 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: let me think DICK
2011-08-24 17:35:00 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: ye thats the one
2011-08-24 17:35:05 [INFO] audr09 the tard: well
2011-08-24 17:35:10 [INFO] vicwiz007: well....... tht pretty much fits the description for analrapist
2011-08-24 17:35:14 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i never did any tremendous damage
2011-08-24 17:35:21 [INFO] audr09 the tard: just little things here and there
2011-08-24 17:35:38 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: hahhaha
2011-08-24 17:35:44 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: ye let me think you are a 10 year old who gets bullied a shit tone
2011-08-24 17:35:49 [INFO] audr09 the tard: diamonds would go missing, tnt, would disappear, maybe i would blow your pretty little fountain up
2011-08-24 17:35:59 [INFO] audr09 the tard: im 26 kid
2011-08-24 17:36:09 [INFO] vicwiz007: there we go witht he kid again
2011-08-24 17:36:09 [INFO] audr09 the tard: but in particular
2011-08-24 17:36:21 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i picked on sbrough10 alot
2011-08-24 17:36:32 [INFO] vicwiz007: isnt he the new owner
2011-08-24 17:36:33 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i used to attack proxistadt like every night
2011-08-24 17:36:36 [INFO] audr09 the tard: he is now
2011-08-24 17:36:39 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: ye your a fat man sitting on your own with your mother
2011-08-24 17:36:39 [INFO] audr09 the tard: he was just an admin then
2011-08-24 17:36:46 [INFO] audr09 the tard: oscar be quiet
2011-08-24 17:36:49 [INFO] audr09 the tard: im telling a story
2011-08-24 17:36:52 [INFO] audr09 the tard: big boys are talking
2011-08-24 17:37:00 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: ok fatty mc fat
2011-08-24 17:37:00 [INFO] vicwiz007: huray!
2011-08-24 17:37:01 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: hahaha the tard got owned
2011-08-24 17:37:12 [INFO] audr09 the tard: the truth is
2011-08-24 17:37:15 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i was sneaky
2011-08-24 17:37:26 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i would make get randoms to join the server
2011-08-24 17:37:31 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and while they were on
2011-08-24 17:37:31 [INFO] vicwiz007: so ur a bad person. kinda like osama binladen
2011-08-24 17:37:39 [INFO] audr09 the tard: hear me out
2011-08-24 17:37:49 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: no
2011-08-24 17:37:58 [INFO] vicwiz007: no im deaf 0_o
2011-08-24 17:37:58 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i would tp around and loot stuff and blow stuff up
2011-08-24 17:38:05 [INFO] audr09 the tard: burn shit down
2011-08-24 17:38:07 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: nah osama was actualy dicreat
2011-08-24 17:38:13 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: YOU DID IT
2011-08-24 17:38:24 [INFO] vicwiz007: did what
2011-08-24 17:38:26 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: damgriefer
2011-08-24 17:38:26 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and then i would blame the randoms for it
2011-08-24 17:38:35 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and then i would ban them
2011-08-24 17:38:37 [INFO] vicwiz007: howd u get caught
2011-08-24 17:38:40 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and pretend like i was the hero
2011-08-24 17:38:43 [INFO] hostile165 logged in with entity id 890596 at ([world] 1415.6168094637687, 43.0, -631.0240974189765)
2011-08-24 17:38:44 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: YOU STOLE THE THE SACRED DIMOND!!
2011-08-24 17:39:01 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: of hitler!
2011-08-24 17:39:05 [INFO] audr09 the tard: after a month or so of it
2011-08-24 17:39:11 [INFO] audr09 the tard: im guessing people started to suspect me
2011-08-24 17:39:19 [INFO] audr09 the tard: gary even asked me once
2011-08-24 17:39:20 [INFO] audr09 the tard: flat out
2011-08-24 17:39:25 [INFO] audr09 the tard: but i lied to him :(
2011-08-24 17:39:28 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: ye your a tard dick head
2011-08-24 17:39:31 [INFO] audr09 the tard: anyway
2011-08-24 17:39:38 [INFO] audr09 the tard: one day
2011-08-24 17:39:44 [INFO] audr09 the tard: everyone was online
2011-08-24 17:39:47 [INFO] vicwiz007: i like stories :)
2011-08-24 17:39:48 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and i was messing around
2011-08-24 17:39:53 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: dude shutup ur filling my chat up with ur tardness
2011-08-24 17:39:54 [INFO] vicwiz007: even if they r bad
2011-08-24 17:39:59 [INFO] audr09 the tard: shhh
2011-08-24 17:40:05 [INFO] vicwiz007: wait this is the best part!
2011-08-24 17:40:10 [INFO] audr09 the tard: i snuck into proxistadt
2011-08-24 17:40:13 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: godddddd fuckin noob
2011-08-24 17:40:15 [INFO] hostile165: were in the hell are all my admin budies
2011-08-24 17:40:21 [INFO] hostile165: i miss busta XD
2011-08-24 17:40:28 [INFO] vicwiz007: wuts proxistadt
2011-08-24 17:40:38 [INFO] audr09 the tard: sbrough10's old city
2011-08-24 17:40:38 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: i think its gay
2011-08-24 17:40:38 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: um eth!
2011-08-24 17:40:45 [INFO] vicwiz007: oh ok wrap it up
2011-08-24 17:40:47 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: oh god
2011-08-24 17:40:56 [INFO] audr09 the tard: basically i looted his shit
2011-08-24 17:40:58 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Oscar: SSSSSSSSSHIIIIIIITTTTTTT
2011-08-24 17:41:06 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and i sent a message to my buddy in game
2011-08-24 17:41:08 [INFO] audr09 the tard: about it
2011-08-24 17:41:09 [INFO] KingOfKarpathia_Ethan: here
2011-08-24 17:41:11 [INFO] audr09 the tard: mistake*
2011-08-24 17:41:17 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and then they read it in the logs
2011-08-24 17:41:30 [INFO] audr09 the tard: and pow! ban hammer to my face
2011-08-24 17:41:38 [INFO] vicwiz007: ha!
2011-08-24 17:41:43 [INFO] vicwiz007: ok thts enuf
2011-08-24 17:41:53 [INFO] audr09 the tard: good luck ladies
2011-08-24 17:41:55 [INFO] audr09 lost connection: disconnect.quitting

Tags: admin, audr09, ban, tard
This entry was posted on Monday, August 29th, 2011 at 2:29 pm by  surfrock66 and is filed under Funny Logs.
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