I think this is a pretty good summary of my mindset. I would appreciate comments on this idea.

2012-09-27 18:50:49 <StealthSurf2> I have to fart but I'm in a little cubicle in a big office.
50:59 VelvetWinterPirate06: :o
51:03 <StealthSurf2> I can LIKELY stealth the sound, but the smell will be out in the wild.
51:04 VelvetWinterPirate06: be discreet lol
51:06 <StealthSurf2> do I risk it?
51:12 <StealthSurf2> or do i run to the copy room
51:14 VelvetWinterPirate06: into a bag into a bag!
51:26 VelvetWinterPirate06: then tie it and throw it like a smell grenade
51:33 <StealthSurf2> haha
51:35 VelvetWinterPirate06: :D
51:38 <StealthSurf2> mythbusters showed how to do that
51:40 <StealthSurf2> for real
51:47 VelvetWinterPirate06: nice :D
51:55 <StealthSurf2> you sit in a bathtub full o fwater
52:04 VelvetWinterPirate06: oh yeah seen that one :D
52:07 <StealthSurf2> then there's like an upside down jar, with a tube, with a funnel
52:08 <StealthSurf2> YA
52:08 VelvetWinterPirate06: he took forever to fart lol
52:16 <StealthSurf2> and it's full of water, then the farts go up and fill it
52:20 <StealthSurf2> so it's 100% fart.
52:34 <StealthSurf2> I hope this doesn't sound sick...
52:42 VelvetWinterPirate06: im sure it wont
52:54 <StealthSurf2> if they made a VERY narrow tube that could like go in your butt, then attach to like a pager-sized thing in your pocket.
53:01 VelvetWinterPirate06: lol
53:05 <StealthSurf2> and it could like extract and neutralize farts before they have to come out...
53:07 <StealthSurf2> I'd buy that.
53:17 VelvetWinterPirate06: that sounds epic :D
53:31 <StealthSurf2> it's be silent and purify the air
53:34 <StealthSurf2> in fact
53:40 VelvetWinterPirate06: purification ftw
53:52 <StealthSurf2> it could have a thing, if it detects any air flow...it triggers like a subtle pine spray or vanilla spray
54:08 <StealthSurf2> so all the fart air is just purified, and separately it smells nice
54:19 <StealthSurf2> then you would like appreciate burritos for lunch
54:28 <StealthSurf2> "Gonna be a pine-full afternoon!"
54:31 VelvetWinterPirate06: :D
54:59 <StealthSurf2> all the co-workers chuckle about how much they'll all be farting as they go to mexican food for lunch
55:08 <StealthSurf2> except for charlie...who doesn't have the SFPD
55:13 VelvetWinterPirate06: lol
55:16 <StealthSurf2> (Surf Fart Purification Device)
55:23 <StealthSurf2> he can't go to lunch.
55:27 <StealthSurf2> because he'll stink up the office.
55:34 VelvetWinterPirate06: naughty charlie
55:59 <StealthSurf2> And that, kids, is how daddy surf invented the device that made us millionaires.