I think this is a pretty good summary of my mindset. I would appreciate comments on this idea.

2012-09-27 18:50:49 <StealthSurf2> I have to fart but I'm in a little cubicle in a big office.
50:59 VelvetWinterPirate06: :o
51:03 <StealthSurf2> I can LIKELY stealth the sound, but the smell will be out in the wild.
51:04 VelvetWinterPirate06: be discreet lol
51:06 <StealthSurf2> do I risk it?
51:12 <StealthSurf2> or do i run to the copy room
51:14 VelvetWinterPirate06: into a bag into a bag!
51:26 VelvetWinterPirate06: then tie it and throw it like a smell grenade
51:33 <StealthSurf2> haha
51:35 VelvetWinterPirate06: :D
51:38 <StealthSurf2> mythbusters showed how to do that
51:40 <StealthSurf2> for real
51:47 VelvetWinterPirate06: nice :D
51:55 <StealthSurf2> you sit in a bathtub full o fwater
52:04 VelvetWinterPirate06: oh yeah seen that one :D
52:07 <StealthSurf2> then there's like an upside down jar, with a tube, with a funnel
52:08 <StealthSurf2> YA
52:08 VelvetWinterPirate06: he took forever to fart lol
52:16 <StealthSurf2> and it's full of water, then the farts go up and fill it
52:20 <StealthSurf2> so it's 100% fart.
52:34 <StealthSurf2> I hope this doesn't sound sick...
52:42 VelvetWinterPirate06: im sure it wont
52:54 <StealthSurf2> if they made a VERY narrow tube that could like go in your butt, then attach to like a pager-sized thing in your pocket.
53:01 VelvetWinterPirate06: lol
53:05 <StealthSurf2> and it could like extract and neutralize farts before they have to come out...
53:07 <StealthSurf2> I'd buy that.
53:17 VelvetWinterPirate06: that sounds epic :D
53:31 <StealthSurf2> it's be silent and purify the air
53:34 <StealthSurf2> in fact
53:40 VelvetWinterPirate06: purification ftw
53:52 <StealthSurf2> it could have a thing, if it detects any air flow...it triggers like a subtle pine spray or vanilla spray
54:08 <StealthSurf2> so all the fart air is just purified, and separately it smells nice
54:19 <StealthSurf2> then you would like appreciate burritos for lunch
54:28 <StealthSurf2> "Gonna be a pine-full afternoon!"
54:31 VelvetWinterPirate06: :D
54:59 <StealthSurf2> all the co-workers chuckle about how much they'll all be farting as they go to mexican food for lunch
55:08 <StealthSurf2> except for charlie...who doesn't have the SFPD
55:13 VelvetWinterPirate06: lol
55:16 <StealthSurf2> (Surf Fart Purification Device)
55:23 <StealthSurf2> he can't go to lunch.
55:27 <StealthSurf2> because he'll stink up the office.
55:34 VelvetWinterPirate06: naughty charlie
55:59 <StealthSurf2> And that, kids, is how daddy surf invented the device that made us millionaires.

O...k so I was drunk the other night and posed a question...Kermit had an interesting response.

2012-02-03 22:20:09 [INFO] DrunkSurf: let's say...you get abducted by aliens
2012-02-03 22:20:11 [INFO] DrunkSurf: kirby too
2012-02-03 22:20:12 [INFO] rtkermit: the fuck!
2012-02-03 22:20:15 [INFO] DrunkSurf: taken to spaceship
2012-02-03 22:20:16 [INFO] Kirbyf: yay probe time!
2012-02-03 22:20:24 [INFO] DrunkSurf: you're up there...they say "release the genital switch ray
2012-02-03 22:20:38 [INFO] DrunkSurf: whole planet....girls are EXACTLY THE SAME but have penises and balls....
2012-02-03 22:20:49 [INFO] DrunkSurf: boys are exact but have uterus and vaginas.
2012-02-03 22:20:49 [INFO] Kirbyf: D: no not my balls. leave the boys alone!
2012-02-03 22:20:55 [INFO] DrunkSurf: they beam you back...you're unchanged.
2012-02-03 22:21:07 [INFO] DrunkSurf: which do you bang. You have to choose.
2012-02-03 22:21:27 [INFO] Kirbyf: well fuck. so its a world of shemales and dudes with vaginas
2012-02-03 22:21:37 [INFO] rtkermit: SHEMALES ARE SEXY

2012-01-23 12:25:14 [INFO] rtkermit: SURF!
2012-01-23 12:25:20 [INFO] rtkermit: what have u been doing?
2012-01-23 12:25:28 [INFO] wilson: stabing himeself
2012-01-23 12:25:31 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: I'm home with a severe eye injury :(
2012-01-23 12:25:33 [INFO] Zeeco: yh, lol
2012-01-23 12:25:48 [INFO] Zeeco: how did you manage to do that?
2012-01-23 12:25:57 [INFO] rtkermit: what u do to your eye? i always told u to watch those cum shots
2012-01-23 12:25:59 [INFO] Zeeco: a wire into your eye
2012-01-23 12:26:01 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: lol
2012-01-23 12:26:13 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: poked it with ai wire I was pulling out of a drawer that snapped at me
2012-01-23 12:26:21 [INFO] MushroomKing_Premium: ow :(
2012-01-23 12:26:27 [INFO] Zeeco: ouch
2012-01-23 12:26:32 [INFO] rtkermit: are u able to see?
2012-01-23 12:26:35 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: had to go to the ER
2012-01-23 12:26:39 [INFO] Zeeco: he's blind
2012-01-23 12:26:41 [INFO] wilson: no he cant see anything
2012-01-23 12:26:42 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: almost punctured the eye
2012-01-23 12:26:44 [INFO] Zeeco: :D
2012-01-23 12:26:52 [INFO] Zeeco: sheet
2012-01-23 12:26:55 [INFO] rtkermit: wait your blind?
2012-01-23 12:26:57 [INFO] Zeeco: that gotta hurt
2012-01-23 12:26:59 [INFO] wilson: yep
2012-01-23 12:27:01 [INFO] MushroomKing_Premium: that sound sounds nasty
2012-01-23 12:27:02 [INFO] Zeeco: yh
2012-01-23 12:27:03 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: in one eye for 3 days :/
2012-01-23 12:27:10 [INFO] wilson: no in both eyes
2012-01-23 12:27:10 [INFO] rtkermit: o only 3 days
2012-01-23 12:27:21 [INFO] Zeeco: yh, like wilson said
2012-01-23 12:27:21 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: I'm blind and deaf actually
2012-01-23 12:27:23 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: completely
2012-01-23 12:27:32 [INFO] rtkermit: HELLEN KELLER
2012-01-23 12:27:32 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: I'm playing minecraft with the hot new hellen keller interface
2012-01-23 12:27:38 [INFO] rtkermit: :D
2012-01-23 12:27:39 [INFO] Zeeco: Siri
2012-01-23 12:27:39 [INFO] wilson: he has his wife writing in brail for him
2012-01-23 12:27:43 [INFO] Zeeco: for iPhone
2012-01-23 12:27:44 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: I just say "wah wah" and things go
2012-01-23 12:27:48 [INFO] wilson: of what we are saying
2012-01-23 12:27:49 [INFO] AmateurProctologistOfSurfs_Surf: I have no idea what I'm doing

2012-01-06 13:10:50 [INFO] ThatGuy2780 logged in with entity id 422060 at ([world] -291.5, 17.0, 2784.5)
2012-01-06 13:16:13 [INFO] MushroomKing_Merijnwouda: i'm going to find some coal
2012-01-06 13:16:16 [INFO] Overjoyed_Worm: ok
2012-01-06 13:16:21 [INFO] Hobo: good for you
2012-01-06 13:16:40 [INFO] MushroomKing_Merijnwouda: thanks for your unasked opinion :)
2012-01-06 13:16:51 [INFO] Hobo: anytime
2012-01-06 13:17:40 [INFO] Zeeco logged in with entity id 450397 at ([world] -1874.964829049053, 72.0, -1023.3736264537661)
2012-01-06 13:18:41 [INFO] thatguy: whoopin bitches asses with my pinkie toe.
2012-01-06 13:18:43 [INFO] [PLAYER_COMMAND] ThatGuy2780: /afk

So before 1.8 was out, when everyone was waiting for it with baited breath, Hobo and Wilson decided to have a bit of fun. Read on! One thing to understand though...when the line says "[xhoboninjax] SOMETHING" that's hobo using the /say command to sound like he's in the backend.

2011-09-13 19:58:00 [INFO] [CONSOLE] Server Rebooting in 2 Minutes!
2011-09-13 19:58:00 [INFO] [PLAYER_COMMAND] Kirbyf: /nick kirbyf rtkermit
2011-09-13 19:58:04 [INFO] rtkermit: hey guys
2011-09-13 19:58:14 [INFO] [PLAYER_COMMAND] Kirbyf: /home
2011-09-13 19:58:19 [INFO] rtkermit: i like men
2011-09-13 19:58:31 [INFO] [xhoboninjax] this is surf 1.8 is out go update
2011-09-13 19:58:34 [INFO] rtkermit: and rape goldfishges
2011-09-13 19:58:36 [INFO] featherdDwarf: OSHIT
2011-09-13 19:58:38 [INFO] rtkermit: WOOOOOOO
2011-09-13 19:58:38 [INFO] featherdDwarf: REALLY>?
2011-09-13 19:58:41 [INFO] Vic_The_Swallower: 1.8 is out?
2011-09-13 19:58:47 [INFO] featherdDwarf: BEBACK BITCH
2011-09-13 19:58:48 [INFO] [xhoboninjax] im gonna reboot the server in 1 min
2011-09-13 19:58:58 [INFO] Vic_The_Swallower: i think ur a liar liar pants fpor hiar